It’s Rosscoe here to let ewe know that I’m looking for a n’ewe home. My current live-in gig as the woolly coat-wearing doorman/meeter/greeter/selfie-pal at the Tasmanian Wool Centre is over. Kindly but firmly, I was told “Rosscoe, our relationsheep must come to an end, ewe’re pasture prime”. The shear nerve of them! I felt so conf-ewe-sed and h-ewe-miliated. It herd my feelings act-ewe-ally. I’d had such a ram-arkable time here and I knit my brows together sadly.
And so it came to be that I have been replaced by the very handsome Jim.
Baah well, sheep happens. That sheep has sailed. No good banging my head against the wool. I’m still alive and wool. But where shall I go now? If you’d like me to come and live with ewe, I am for sale. The folks at the Wool Centre would love to hear from you with your rem-ewe-neration offers of over $500.00.
I’m very versatile and can take on almost any role. I’ve often fancied myself as a thespian, surely there’s a big call for sheep props? Maybe a dancer… I wear a t’ewe-t’ewe like no-one ewe’ve ever seen. Or I could be the meeter ‘n greeter at your business, or home? I’m very ewesful. I’m always shearful. I’m not too much trouble and I promise not to eat your plants. If you’re the one for me, let’s chat over a glass of lambrusco.
The enquiries are sure to come flocking in, so don’t hesitate, please contact the folks at the Tasmanian Wool Centre, 03 6381 5466 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Till then, Fleece Navidad
For your v-ewe-ing pleasure, here’s me.